BDSM & The Power Plays That Bind Us

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Photo via onlinefilmizlesek

Bondage and Discipline.

Dominance and Submission.

Sadism and Masochism.

This isn’t about rough sex at all, but it’s still about getting fucked up.

More explicitly, it’s about everyone fucking themselves up; their lives up; committing acts of BDSM upon themselves in some sort of sick metaphorical masturbation of life choices. Why do we derive pleasure from pain? There is a psychology linked to S&M that runs concurrently to the way we conduct ourselves as human beings. It’s the chains and whips that get us out of bed, let alone into it.

We are bound and disciplined everyday. Sometimes the people whom we hold in the highest esteem do it. A lot of the time it’s ourselves. Why else would we bind ourselves in shoes that give us blisters, wear wigs and plaster our faces in commercialised grime. Bondage is a funny thing really, because half the time we bind ourselves to things without intending to. It makes us feel empowered. Of course I’ll save that puppy at the RSPCA and be a hero. Of course I’m not having dessert tonight so I look good naked. Obviously it’s not all bad; discipline in moderation is good. And I guess that’s the reason for the gagging and the blindfolding.

Have you ever engaged in activities involving role-playing games, in which one person assumes a dominant role and another person assumes a submissive role? I did when I attended preschool at the age of six. I do every day. In fact, I’m doing it right now, provided that you’re reading this. After all, aren’t I simply playing the role of a writer with a questionable arsenal of not-so-sophisticated words? Why are you still reading?  I submitted this piece of writing so doesn’t that make me the submissive also? I guess the point I’m getting at is that there are power plays dancing about in a million different aspects of our kaleidoscopic lives—the trick being to know which role to assume in each scenario.

Why do we derive pleasure from pain? I had a friend who cut himself, simply to feel something. In the sadness of the whole affair he found a strange euphoria in his ability to register the sensation of the slits in his forearms. His friends were unaware, as they sat drinking themselves to oblivion and piping substance beneath their own flesh. These masochistic pastimes, all forms of self-harm, are practiced by so many. Trials and tribulations on a quest for empowerment.

BDSM is a term that commonly refers to the more neurotic acts on the spectrum of boudoir activities, but the bindings of the phrase could be loosened. Embracing the morbid and role-play have been so severely tabooed that their value has tarnished. We’ve all been gagged and blindfolded for far too long.

Written by Clare Neal

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